TSOTI – Chapter 1.1

Sunlight glinting off the leaves, the long road stretching straight ahead—everything felt unreal, to the point that it almost seemed as if he’d fallen into a world from an entirely different dimension.

A passing breeze carried with it the scent of sweat from the man. For some reason, that smell made Doyoung’s heart pound wildly. So much so that he had to actively try not to let the hardening below be noticed.

Truth be told, Doyoung had already been heating up in a strange way from the moment he’d wrapped his arms around the man’s solid body. From the moment he’d pressed his chest to that broad back and leaned into him. It was the kind of body he’d always wanted to be held by at least once.

“We’re here.”

Before he could even savor the intoxication of holding onto the man, the short ride came to an end. The motorcycle stopped in front of a stone-wall house. The man dismounted first, then helped Doyoung down as well.

The man flashed Doyoung a bright smile and led him inside. As he stepped into the old house, weathered by sea breeze, he came face to face with another man standing by the outdoor faucet next to a wide wooden platform, holding a hose.

“Hyung! The guest’s here!”

The man turned his gaze toward Doyoung. In that instant, Doyoung’s large eyes twitched.

A plain white T-shirt was soaked through with water, clinging to the man’s upper body and revealing everything beneath. His broad chest muscles, even his dark brown nipples, were clearly visible through the fabric. His abs were densely packed, and because of his darker skin tone, every contour stood out sharply. As if someone had deliberately shaded them in, the clearly defined lines of his muscles stole Doyoung’s gaze in an instant.

***

The humid air of the room clung to him as he barely managed to sit up. The summer sun, blocked by curtains draped over the window, cast a dull yellow hue over the room. The fan that had been running all night let out a strained, creaking whine. From early morning, the heat was already oppressive, and only hot air drifted around him.

Click.

Awakening from sleep, Doyoung opened the door of the one-shelf mini fridge shoved into a corner of his studio apartment. From the barely functional box that could hardly be called a refrigerator, he took out a bottle of lukewarm water and swallowed a mouthful.

Whirr whirr.

The fan’s noise grated on his nerves. He’d missed the right time to throw it out—that was why. He could’ve just reached out and turned it off, but even that felt like too much effort. Instead, Doyoung walked past the fan and headed to the bathroom. Inside the narrow, poorly ventilated space, the stench of mold hit him hard.

“Ah…….”

Standing in front of the sink, Doyoung met his own eyes in the mirror. Dark circles sagging low from days without seeing the sun, and protruding cheekbones from being so thin—it all drew an automatic sigh from him.

‘How long am I supposed to keep living like this?’

A heavy sense of doubt about his life washed over him. A life not all that different from others’, and yet just a little bit different. One flaw he possessed had always made him shrink back, pushing him further and further into darkness. He’d grown his bangs long to hide his face, hunched his back, always trying not to catch anyone’s eye. Like that, he graduated from middle and high school, entered a so-so university, and lived quietly.

While his peers dated and went to the military, he lived apart from everyone else. He’d been exempt from service anyway because of his physical issue, and romance was never even a dream he could afford to have. There had been people who made his heart flutter from time to time—but his life was far too murky for him to take even one step closer to them.

“…….”

Doyoung stared hard at himself in the mirror. The curtain drawn thickly over his vision irritated him. He was sick of the world always being dim, always hidden. He felt a deep aversion to the days he’d spent cowering.

Creak.

He opened a storage cabinet he rarely used; its hinges rusted from neglect. As the long-untouched door squealed open, the items inside spilled out all at once. Among them, Doyoung picked something up from where they’d collected it in the sink. When a sharp object landed in his hand, he brought it to his face without hesitation.

Grab.

He seized a handful of his shaggy bangs. Then, without a second thought, he dragged the razor straight through. Hair that had been lighter in color than most people’s from birth was hacked off unevenly under the blade. With his bangs gone in jagged chunks, as if gnawed away by a rat, his previously hidden, large eyes were exposed.

Snip. Snip.

He cut away the rest of his hair as well. With the dull blade, the poor strands only became more of a mess. After hacking at it for a long while, Doyoung stared straight ahead. A face pale like raw dough from being deprived of light for so long looked back at him.

Click.

He left the bathroom just like that. Pulling on whatever clothes were stuffed into the closet, he packed a bag and left the room.

Bang.

The door slammed shut behind him, and he disappeared. Only the fan, still not turned off, continued to spin weakly on its own.

***

Banwol Island was such a small, sparsely inhabited island that the only way in was by borrowing a fishing boat from a fisherman at GalmokjinGalmokjin¹, off the coast near Cheongpyeong. After a full hour on the fishing boat, the crescent-shaped shoreline finally came into view. On calm days, it could take around forty minutes, but when the currents were rough, it could take up to an hour and a half. An old fisherman with deep wrinkles etched into his forehead told Doyoung that this was a pretty decent crossing.

After paying the fare, Doyoung got off the small fishing boat. The blazing midsummer sun stung his skin, yet perhaps because it was an island, standing on the sandy shore didn’t feel hot at all.

He took out his phone and called someone. The other party answered quickly. After ending the call with a man who had an extremely low voice, Doyoung stood on the beach and waited.

He took a moment to take in the scenery. The coastline looked no different from the small island villages he’d seen in movies and dramas, yet even without a single person passing by, it felt bright and pleasant.

Why had he chosen this island again? There hadn’t been any particular reason. It was said to be so little known that barely anyone lived here. Occasionally, tourists who stumbled upon the island’s existence would visit, but even that was rare—so rare that the handful of people who came in winter to watch migratory birds made up almost all of them.

Thankfully, there was one house that ran a guesthouse. Most outsiders who came here probably stayed there. Not only did they provide lodging, but if you wanted, they’d even prepare three meals a day. Even so, the price was incredibly low—cheap enough that it almost felt like getting something for nothing.

Intrigued, Doyoung had called, and after asking him a few questions, the guesthouse owner eventually said it was fine for him to come. Doyoung didn’t hesitate. It wasn’t much money, but he withdrew every last bit from his bank account, stuffed it into his bag, and bought a bus ticket to Cheongpyeong.

“Mr. Choi Doyoung?”

Lost in thought, Doyoung only snapped back to attention when he heard his name. Turning toward the sound, he saw a man sitting astride a motorcycle, looking his way. The man’s face was hard to make out, hidden by the pouring sunlight. Doyoung raised his hand to shade his eyes from the glare.

Only after blocking the light did the man’s face gradually come into focus. Bathed head-to-toe in dazzling white sunlight as he sat on the motorcycle, the man left Doyoung staring, transfixed.

“You’re Mr. Choi Doyoung, right?”

“Yes……. that’s me.”

For some reason, the man stared at Doyoung so intently that it was almost embarrassing. The gaze was so blatant that Doyoung felt awkward for no reason at all.

“Um, is there some problem…….”

“How did you hear about our guesthouse?”

“Huh?”

“I’m just curious. It’s not a well-known place, so I wondered how you found out and contacted us.”

“Ah……. I just came across it while searching somehow.”

“You didn’t come knowing something else, right?”

“Something…… else?”

The man’s words made Doyoung frown. Even earlier on the phone, he’d been like this—it felt like the man was treating him with suspicion.

“No, it’s nothing. Anyway, hop on behind me. We have to take this to get to the guesthouse.”

The man quickly changed his expression and smiled at Doyoung as if nothing were wrong.

Doyoung climbed onto the motorcycle that the man had brought. If he’d had a lot of luggage, riding a motorcycle would’ve been difficult, but luckily, all he had was one backpack, so getting onto the back seat posed no real trouble.

“Hold on tight. The road isn’t that rough, but it’d still be bad if you fell.”

Maybe mid-twenties at most? The man, who looked much taller than Doyoung, had a strangely boyish side to him. That impression came from the contrast between his low voice and gentle way of speaking, and from his sun-tanned yet spotless skin.

Following his instructions, Doyoung wrapped his arms around the man’s waist. Encircling the abdomen of someone far larger than himself and leaning against that broad back, he could feel the dense muscles packed into the well-built body. From the erector muscles hugging the spine to the abs beneath his hands, his heart gave a small, involuntary leap at the sensation of a body so different from his own.

He hadn’t expected this. He never imagined there’d be a movie-worthy handsome man on such a remote island.

“Alright, let’s go.”

When the man twisted the right handle, the motorcycle’s engine let out a lively roar. Sand from the shore sprayed everywhere as the bike shot forward. Wind heavy with salt whipped around Doyoung’s body, tangling his unevenly cut hair into a mess.

The motorcycle carrying the two of them sped along the coastal road toward somewhere unknown. With not a single car passing by, the seaside road almost made it feel like he’d been dropped into some kind of apocalypse.

Blazing summer sunlight. Waves are crashing roughly.

“Hello…….”

Doyoung’s voice, offering his first greeting, was unbearably awkward. Standing before a handsome man you’d rarely see even in Seoul—let alone on a remote island—he fiddled needlessly with his butchered hair. To them, he was probably nothing more than just another guest staying at the guesthouse, but he couldn’t help being self-conscious. If he’d known the hosts would be this good-looking, he wouldn’t have hacked off his bangs like this before coming.

“Yes, welcome.”

The man addressed as Hyung was markedly cold, unlike the man who’d brought Doyoung here. Despite having a guest, he seemed intent on finishing what he was doing, indifferently holding the hose and spraying water around the yard. That attitude only made Doyoung shrink further.

“Hyung. Come on. You can do that later. We’ve got a guest.”

The man beside Doyoung complained, but the one holding the hose didn’t even react. Looking embarrassed, the man turned to Doyoung and held out his hand, reaching for the backpack on Doyoung’s back.

“Give me your luggage. I’ll take it to your room.”

Doyoung could feel his cheeks heating up.

“No……. It’s okay. I’ll take my things myself.”

“Ah……. Then how about sitting here for a bit? I’ll bring you something cold to drink. We can look at the room after.”

“Ah, yes…….”

Following his suggestion, Doyoung perched on the wooden platform. Sitting with his back to the faucet, the sound of running water behind him nagged at his nerves. A moment later, the man returned with drinks. In his hands were three cans of beer, their surfaces beaded with condensation.

“It’s daytime, but this much is okay, right?”

His throat had been parched, so the timing was perfect. He wasn’t particularly good with alcohol, but the moment he saw the beer cans, a smile bloomed on Doyoung’s face without him realizing it.

“Thank you.”

“No problem. We really like drinking. Quite a few of the guests who stay here end up drinking with us. These are all on the house, so if you ever want one, just say the word.”

“Is that…… really okay?”

“Yes. When we buy in bulk for businesses, alcohol’s cheap anyway. So don’t feel burdened.”

The room was already cheap—he’d wondered what they could possibly make if they gave out alcohol too. As if reading Doyoung’s thoughts, the man explained first. Doyoung wrapped things up with a short, “Yes, thank you.” The man was kind and very likable, but in some ways, that made Doyoung uncomfortable.

“Hyung. Come drink too. Talk with the guest a bit.”

While Doyoung popped open his can and took a drink, he heard the sound of the hose being turned off behind him.

Step. Step.

Footsteps from a man soaked through approached. He stopped at a spot just out of Doyoung’s direct line of sight. In the yard flooded with sunlight, he began taking off his wet shirt.

“……!”

Doyoung looked at him in visible shock. Crossing his arms, the man grabbed the hem of his T-shirt and pulled it off in one swift motion. His dark hair shook briefly before settling back into place. His deeply set black eyes glinted coldly.

He was a perfect creation. It almost felt as if, when God first set out to create humans, this was the form He’d meant to shape—a face and body utterly complete.

“Ah…….”

The shirtless man looked at Doyoung. Their eyes met suddenly, and realizing he’d been staring far too openly, Doyoung hurriedly looked away.

Thump, Thump.

His heart started racing wildly. This wasn’t why he’d come here……. He regretted cutting his bangs so short. All he wanted was to hide somewhere, anywhere.

“Here.”

The other man tossed a beer can to the shirtless one. Standing there in nothing but jeans, his entire upper body on display, he popped it open.

Hiss.

The cheerful sound of foam rising burst out, followed by the sound of him gulping down beer.

By now, his Adam’s apple must be bobbing frantically. A line of sweat would be tracing its way down his neck…….

“Oh, right. Introductions are late. I’m Han Seungbin. I run the guesthouse here, and over there is Seungwoo hyung. We’re really close—like brothers.”

Closer than anyone.  The fact that the two of them, so close, ran a guesthouse together on a remote island felt strangely fascinating. Even a little romantic. It couldn’t have been easy for people so young to come all the way out here to live. Doyoung thought they seemed like people very different from himself in many ways.

“I’m twenty, and Seungwoo-hyung is twenty-one. Pretty young, right?”

Just as Doyoung brought the can to his lips for a cautious sip, he nearly sprayed beer everywhere in shock.

“W-what……? Excuse me?”

“You’re surprised, huh? Most people don’t believe us when they hear our ages.”

“No, but how……. at that age…… here…….”

“Well. Things just worked out that way.”

Seungbin smiled as he said it. A ridiculously handsome man smiling right at him felt deeply awkward, but Doyoung was so stunned by the fact that they were barely in their early twenties that it didn’t even register.

They did look youthful—but the fact that they were only twenty was unexpected. Only after hearing their ages did it occur to him how mature they seemed for it.

“How old are you, Doyoung-hyung?”

Steadying his racing heart, Doyoung answered at last.

“Twenty…… three.”

“Wow. Three years older than me? Hyung, you look so young. Like a total baby.”

“Do I……?”

“Hyung. Drop the formal speech. We’re going to be living together here for a month—make yourself comfortable.”

“Mm…….”

He’d never dropped honorifics with anyone before, so it just felt awkward. Regardless, Seungbin remained extremely friendly. It seemed to be his nature—bright, cheerful, someone who blended easily with others. The complete opposite of Doyoung.

“Oh, and Seungwoo-hyung. He might seem kind of rude at first, but he’s not actually like that. He’s just shy around strangers……. He gets better once you’re close, so don’t worry too much.”

Shy didn’t really seem like the right word. Still, at Seungbin’s urging, Seungwoo shot Doyoung a brief glance. He didn’t seem inclined to strike up a conversation, though—he turned away again and kept drinking his beer.

“Haha.”

Seungbin laughed awkwardly. Doyoung returned the awkward smile to show it was fine and took another drink.

“Um……. so my room is…….”

Using the awkwardness as an excuse, Doyoung drained his can in one go and wiped his lips. Seungbin smiled and stood up.

“Then, shall we go see your room? We renovated the inside completely, so it’s in good condition. It’s different from how it looks outside.”

Seungbin set off first. Doyoung followed behind him, unable to hide his awkwardness. They rounded the yard toward the back of the building, where a garden just as large as the front yard spread out.

“You can use this annex here.”

They stopped in front of a building set off to one side of the backyard. Seungbin sat on the wooden porch and opened the wooden door, revealing an interior far cleaner and more stylish than expected.

“Unfortunately, the renovation isn’t completely finished, so you’ll have to use the bathroom in the main house. The bathroom’s through the door on the right side of the main building, so it’s a bit inconvenient, but please use that one.”

Nod, Nod.

At this price, with conditions like this, Doyoung thought it was more than worth putting up with a little inconvenience.

“Breakfast’s at nine, lunch at two, dinner at seven. We eat a bit late. If that’s uncomfortable, let us know—we can adjust to the time you want.”

“Oh, no. That’s fine.”

“Hyung. I told you—talk comfortably.”

Startled at himself for slipping back into polite speech, Doyoung nodded quickly.

“And if you need the motorcycle, let us know. If there’s anything else you need, just ask. If you want, I can even take you to the nearest store.”

“Mm……. Thanks.”

With that, Seungbin stood up from the porch. Just as he was about to leave, telling him to rest, Doyoung hurriedly called out.

“Um, the room fee—!”

He hadn’t been able to transfer it in the rush. And from the start, they’d said he could pay in person.

“Ah. The room fee……. Take your time. You can pay on the day you leave.”

“No. Take it now. I’ll feel better that way.”

“If you insist, hyung, I’ll take it now.”

Doyoung quickly pulled the money from his bag and handed it over. It matched the amount he’d been told on the phone. Seungbin didn’t even check it—he just took it casually.

“Thanks, hyung.”

After collecting the payment, Seungbin said his final goodbyes and left, telling him to rest. Doyoung watched the man’s retreating figure in a slight daze. A strange place he’d never been to before—and two handsome men welcoming him. Everything felt like it was drifting away from his original plan, leaving him disoriented.

Well…… whatever. It’s only a month.

But Doyoung soon shook his head. It was only one month. People who’d disappear from his memory soon enough—maybe it was better not to think too much about them.

Having sorted out his thoughts, Doyoung finally moved. He took off his sneakers, slung the small backpack over his shoulder, and stepped up onto the wooden porch.